Ddeaf Lives
"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live." Flora Whittemore
Ddeaf Lives & Stories
We're all unique, and we all have stories to tell. It's impossible to generalise about what a Ddeaf person is – everyone is different – different causes of hearing loss, the age at which the hearing loss occurred, how we view our Ddeafness and how our Ddeafness affects the way we view the world, our reactions to Ddeafness and how with cope with our Ddeafness.
These are the stories of some of our DdEF members.
“When I was younger, 16, I left school very under confident. I was deaf and I realized it was a hearing world. I carried on, but I know I'm reminded that I'm deaf every day. Now I'm more mature, I seem to be more proactive, I ask questions, and this has a confidence for me. I'm more confident with maturity.”
“When I left school at 16, I had my mum and dad, but at 16 I started a course in the hearing world. I did typing. We didn't have computers at school. It went well, but no-one talked to me. I didn't know how to communicate and say I was deaf. Now things have changed. There are deaf awareness courses, more awareness and this is brilliant. This changes me, I'm more proactive. Some people I tell that I'm deaf, others I don't, but it's much better now.”
“I found when I left school, the first problem was to get a job. Lots of jobs were available, but due to being deaf I was told I couldn't have that jobs etc. My first job was a proof reader for a publisher, I didn't have to speak.”
“I left school, I pretended I was hearing, because I went to an oral school, I didn't sign at school. I mixed with hearing people, but at Derby College people signed. I was lost before this, I learnt low level signing. Then I realized, I went to live with my parents again, but I missed deaf culture. Then I lived in London, came back to Derby. My confidence was up and down, I didn't realize which culture to chose. But now, deaf culture is me.”
“I've been to three different schools, hearing, partial hearing unit and deaf school – varied experiences. Confident with the deaf school (wasn't confident) lost my identity basically, confidence is up and down. When younger I did accept the deaf culture thought well it's me. I speak very well but the problem is that people prefer me to speak rather than sign, they say, oh no don't sign, speak. I would prefer to sign, but hearing people have a problem with accepting that. So all my life I've been taught the oral way. But now I'm older I think, "who am I speaking for? Them or me?" Oh deaf people who speak very well you fit into society you can because you can speak, but then again I feel who am I doing this for, but I feel yes I have to look at myself and think yes am I confident about this.”
“My experience has been very different because I lost my hearing as an adult and this was a very difficult time for me because I was actually thrown out of my job because of it. Since then I've moved to a different place of work and I have become more acclimatized to my hearing loss, gone for training, I've become more proactive in overcoming my hearing loss; accessing services; communication and also in taking on more responsibility at work.”
“I lost my hearing as a young adult. It takes a number of years to acclimatize to. I have become more proactive but it gets very tiring my confidence goes up and down really.”
“I don't actually feel that my deafness or my hearing loss is a disadvantage as long as I have got the tools necessary to do my job. If impediment is put forward for me to do my job, then yes, I'm disadvantaged.”
“When I was diagnosed with a rare neurological condition I didn't realise that it would affect my sight and hearing. It's been difficult to readjust to how things are now. It still is. A lot of the things I used to do I don't now because it's just too difficult and tiring, socially. In other ways though it's made me more determined. I'm still the same me I was for the thirty years before this. It doesn't stop me from doing most things. It makes you see things differently though when people treat you differently because you're Ddeaf. It's the little things though I miss the most, like those little everyday sounds around the house that aren't there any more and the harmonies in songs. I can still hear them in my head, but in my ears they're just not there any more.”
“I quit my job when I moved to Derby recently. I went to the job centre for benefits. I've been working for 22 years in a kitchen, I know everything. I filled in a form and they seemed happy with it. But every job I go for I don't get, I feel unconfident. I didn't take an interpreter, I try to act like a hearing person. They tell me it's about not having a hygiene qualification, but that's not right. It's because I'm deaf.”
“I have low confidence, I was married to a hearing person who didn't agree to me being involved in the deaf world. He didn't want me to get the deaf benefit (DLA). But I got it last year with the help of someone else.”
“...I worked there for 9 years I really enjoyed working in the office typing but the biggest problem was communication. I couldn't hear them and I didn't know anything about deaf awareness and I couldn't give them anything to understand. They had to go out a lot so I was lonely but I carried on with my work before all the new DDA etc., a lot of things were new but its all changed now I left because I wanted to gain more skills.”
“I should have been a fashion designer. I've trained for lots of years, have skills and qualifications, but when I go for interview, they seem to have a look. They think my portfolio is great, but they are worried about communication issues – using the phone, meetings etc.
I feel angry about this, I feel they are trying to stop me, taking away my skills. This has stopped my life.
This is about 15 years ago, I'm talking a long time ago. But I'm disappointed that they made me feel more disabled than I am. I wanted to show them that I can do this. At the time, I didn't have the confidence to insist they sort it all out. I have a lot of confidence with my drawings and creativity, but I'm learning now,
I'm different to what I was. I changed my career path.”
“Sometimes they laugh at me if I use the wrong words, but equality I think yes, its definitely improved now, but I'm unsure. Attitudes depends on how old they are – age has got something to do with equality.”
“Society doesn't see Ddeaf people as equal, partially because the hearing world does not really understand the issues involved. And I think there needs to be a greater awareness, ‘education’ of the hearing world to meet us half way, if we are moving up on the road towards equality.”
“My biggest achievement would be to stop DLA if the attitude of everyone changed so that it wouldn't be necessary as everyone would be able to access everything.”
“I don't like to rely on other people. I like to be independent to be equal to a hearing person without relying on someone to help me. I don't want that.”
Are you Ddeaf and have a story to tell? Contact our web team.
